


Tequila, Salt, Lemons

by Daikon (Daikon1)



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Drabble Collection, F/M, Sexy Times, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:41:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26365099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daikon1/pseuds/Daikon
Summary: A collection of sexy UsaMamo short stories, including "Awkward Sex" for Smutember 2020 and an angsty end-of-the-world SilMil lime!
Relationships: Chiba Mamoru/Tsukino Usagi
Comments: 8
Kudos: 53
Collections: Smutember 2020 Sailor Moon Fandom





	1. Mood Music

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Have some "Awkward Sex" for Smutember 2020!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for Week 4 of Smutember 2020; the inspiring prompt was "Awkward Sex."
> 
> Because this is far too short to be a standalone and I didn't want to up the rating for "In Your Orbit," I'm starting this collection in the hopes that I may actually write more smut in the future.
> 
> Eternal, enormous thanks to FloraOne for coordinating this event and for looking over my (relatively tame) attempt at smut. She is such a gift to our entire fandom, I swear.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!
> 
>  **Prompt:** Awkward Sex
> 
>  **Word Count:** 543 words
> 
>  **Rating:** M/R

Morning light spilled in through the blinds over the window, bathing tangled limbs in a warm glow.

Usagi’s panting gasps mingled with the sultry music drifting from the Bluetooth speakers on the shelf beside the bed, and her fingers tightened their hold in Mamoru’s dark hair. His tongue moved between her thighs, and she let out a keening wail as he deftly pushed her nearer and nearer to the edge.

“Fuck, please, _please_ , Mamo-chan, I’m _so_ _close_ …”

Suddenly, he pulled away from her, and she _whined_ her displeasure as he sat up, taking his perfect chest much too far away from her, only to lean over and begin fumbling with his phone.

Her jaw dropped in righteous indignation as the almost-crest of her orgasm slipped away from her – and Mamoru was _still on his phone._

What on _earth_ could be on his phone that was more important than-

_I'm sorry I'm not candid. I can say it if it's in my dreams._

Her eyebrows furrowed as her ears picked up an oddly familiar melody. _Was that…?_

“Dammit, I can’t get the thing to…” Mamoru repeatedly jammed at his phone screen with his thumb as Usagi began to howl with laughter.

_My thoughts are about to short circuit. I want to see you right now!_

“You, you…” she stuttered through peals of giggles. “You have the _Sailor Moon Theme_ in your sexytimes playlist?!?”

His ears and neck burned red. “Not on purpose! I meant to put it on another playlist.” Usagi continued to howl, and Mamoru’s shoulders hunched forward as he finally got his phone to cooperate and skip to the next song, a sensual slow-jam.

Usagi wiped tears from her eyes, still cackling with laughter. “Thank god, Mamo-chan, because Sailor Moon? That’s like, the least erotic thing ever.”

He arched an eyebrow at her as he set his phone down again. Leaning in close, he caged her against the mattress with his body and arms. At the press of his firm chest against hers, her giggles abruptly stopped.

“You think so?” His warm lips brushed softly against her earlobe as his voice lowered to a purr. “You can’t see _anything_ alluring about the memory of my gorgeous wife regularly kicking ass?” As he spoke, his fingers brushed along her knee before slowly trailing up her inner thigh, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. “Nothing at all seductive about the fact that she did it in the world’s. shortest. skirt?” Each word was punctuated by a gentle nip to her throat.

She inhaled sharply and shivered as his fingers stopped just a millimeter shy of brushing against her; her teeth worried her bottom lip as she fought to hold back a moan. “Mamo-channn,” she whimpered, and he chuckled against her neck.

“Or do you mean to tell me you never fantasized about Tuxedo Mask?”

“Fine!” The breathy exclamation burst from her as she squirmed beneath his fingers, trying to make them _actually_ _touch her_. “Fine, fine, listen to whatever you want, just… stop torturing me, _please_.”

The cocky smirk against her neck was palpable, but she couldn’t find it in her to care in the least. Rising up, he wrapped practiced fingers around her knees and drew her close again. 

“Gladly.”


	2. could've followed my fears all the way down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An end-of-the-world SilMil Lime written for Antigone2!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This holiday season, I got to engage in a mini-exchange with some of my Moonie friends, and had the privilege of writing a short piece for [Antigone2!](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antigone2/pseuds/Antigone2) She requested angst and either SilMil or Crystal Tokyo. These things are a bit outside my usual wheelhouse, but I hope I did them justice! As is Antigone's preference, I borrowed the title from a Taylor Swift song, in this case 'this is me trying.'
> 
> Enormous thanks to FloraOne, as always, for her unfailing support – normally I opt not to have these shorts beta'd, but because this was a gift she very kindly offered to look over it for me (and made it better, because that's what she does).
> 
> Antigone, I really hope you enjoy this!
> 
> **Prompt:** Angst in the Silver Millennium
> 
> **Word Count:** 742 words
> 
> **Rating:** T/PG-13

_Poised. Collected. Together._

That was how she'd been raised, and she'd never felt it less than in this moment.

Silken skirts sweeping behind her, she blew down the palace halls and past her guardians, throwing open the doors of her bedroom to reveal the man in armor seated on her bed, fingers steepled together beneath his bowed head.

"...You stayed." The words tasted of ash on her tongue.

"Where else would I go?" He folded his fingers together, golden band winking in the candle light as he dropped his hands to his lap and looked up at her.

She shook her head. "It's not too late. Go back and… and tell them it was my doing. Say that I bewitched you. Something. Anything."

Even as she spoke, he shook his head and rose to his feet. He towered over her, but despite this, he wrapped his fingers in silver-blonde streamers, traced a thumb along the soft patch of skin between her ear and cheekbone, his sole focus on soothing her.

"It _is_ too late," he said in a low voice. "Beryl is out for blood, and yours will suit if she can't have mine. This wasn't you alone, and I will not see you sacrificed to save my own skin."

"What about your people? Surely they're worth the death of one alien tyrant."

His shoulders held steady, his posture unflinching.

"You're my wife, not a tyrant."

His quiet certainty brought tears to her eyes and she blinked them away, hoping he would mistake their telltale glimmer as the refractions of candlelight.

"Beryl is angry," he continued in that same firm tone. "Not insane. She wouldn't massacre an entire populace as retribution for a broken betrothal."

"No," she countered, her finely honed veneer of diplomacy finally slipping and revealing the panic pounding beneath her breastbone. "She'll just murder you before my eyes, as if that's somehow better."

His mouth pulled into a smirk, the same expression that had set her heart fluttering that first day in the rose gardens. "See, my love," he whispered, warm fingers digging into the exposed skin of her shoulders. "That's why I could never leave you."

The swell of emotion overflowed her body with nowhere to spill but onto him, and she shoved her hands against his shoulders, pushed him down onto the white of her bed so she could climb atop him, straddle him and pin him beneath her, real and solid and steady.

Her fingers tangled briefly in the leather straps of his armor as she ripped it from his torso. Their teeth clinked together in desperation as she did her best to crawl into him, to join with him so wholly that no one would ever dare to separate them.

His knowing hands traced the familiar curves of her body and set every inch of her – her back, her cheeks, her breasts – alight with all-consuming fire. A sharp, painful ache of longing bloomed on her skin whenever his fingers had the gall to venture away.

_Even given lifetimes, she would never be able to love this man enough._

"Let's run away." The words spilled into the dip of his collarbone as she curled around him, possessive nails digging into the muscles of his back. "If she only wants us…"

But when she met his eyes, their haunted look stopped her, making her throat go dry and her heart palpitate a chill into her bloodstream.

"...She doesn't," she realized, sitting up braced against his naked chest; the gossamer sheets shifted beneath his hips as she clambored to her knees. "How could you?" But the accusation lacked bite, its attempted bile unable to mask the salt left behind on her tongue, a tang that she'd known deep down wasn't just sweat.

Her tears began in earnest, and he gathered her to him, pressing a kiss to her forehead and gently brushing the liquid from her cheeks with his thumbs.

"Where should we go?" he whispered into her trembling mouth, and she hiccupped.

_He had let her pretend for a little while longer_ – _she could return the favor._

"I've always w-wanted to see Coronis. Mau. We can r-run forever."

He nodded, pulling her tight to the planes of his chest with a shuddering exhale, and she clung to him, both knowing that despite their brave words, they wouldn't live long enough to ever again see the earth rise over the spires of the lunar palace.


	3. A Coital Cure?? Usagi's Hiccups Won't Go Away!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For Beta Appreciation Day 2021, I set out to fulfill FloraOne's request for an unconventional cure for the hiccups...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is a gift for my amazing beta, FloraOne, for Beta Appreciation Day 2021!! Flora, you always know exactly the right places to punch up emotional resonance, or where to cut things to let the ideas breathe more. I so appreciate your immediate willingness to brainstorm when I feel stuck, and your enthusiastic cheerleading makes writing even more fun. I have become a better writer from working with you, and I can honestly say I wouldn’t be writing Sailor Moon fanfic at all were it not for you and your support. So thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for all that you do. 
> 
> (Also, FYI, I totally made her beta her own gift, which just goes to show how fantastic she is and how much appreciation and love she deserves!!)
> 
> When I set out to write this giftfic, I checked Flora’s“fanfic inspiration” tag on Tumblr and found a lot of stuff that either I had ALREADY WRITTEN in R or things that demanded a full-length fic that I knew I wasn’t going to have time to turn around before the deadline.  
> Then I saw this prompt, and I immediately knew exactly what I was writing. I did go with a (slightly) less crack-y angle just to save time, though!
> 
>  **Prompt:** A Cure for the Hiccups
> 
>  **Word Count:** 1,497 words
> 
>  **Rating:** E

"Maaaaaaaa-HIC-mo-chaaaaaaaa-HIC-n!"

Mamoru jerked his head up from his medical journal to find his wife had draped herself dramatically across the plush pile of pillows he was constantly restacking next to their low table.

Knowing he wouldn't get any more work done until her problems were resolved, he set down his highlighter and removed his reading glasses.

"Yes, Usako?"

She sprawled next to him, all long limbs and endless hair and plaintive blue eyes staring up at him. His own eyes caught momentarily on the creamy skin of her bare legs - the miniskirt she wore under his oversized Keio sweatshirt had ridden up her thighs when she'd stretched out atop the cushions.

"I have the -HIC- hiccups and they -HIC- won't go awayyyyyyy-HIC-yyyy!"

"Hold your breath and drink a glass of water," he recommended, reluctantly pulling his focus from his wife's upper thighs and back to the paper in front of him; his thumb idly flicked against the metal frames of his glasses as he slid them back on his face. He was prepared to return to his reading, but Usagi sighed around another hiccup.

"I tried -HIC- that already. And eating a spoonful of -HIC- sugar with my head upside down and -HIC- breathing into a paper bag -HIC- and drinking from the back -HIC- of the glass and making -HIC- loud noises to scare them -HIC- away." She counted her assorted remedies on her fingers until she ran out, then looked up at him with her biggest, bluest, most-pleadingest eyes. "You're a doctor, can't you -HIC- give me like a pill or something?"

"There's no officially agreed-upon cure for the hiccups," he said regretfully. "Primarily just home remedies with sparse evidentiary support. Except…"

He trailed off, his ears heating as he remembered a paper he'd recently read from the Annals of Emergency Medicine. Reaching up, he again removed his glasses and focused the full weight of his gaze on Usagi.

"...There is one thing we could try, if you're willing."

"I'll try -HIC- anything at this point."

He slid from his seat on the floor up onto the couch, meeting her eyes and patting his lap in invitation.

She arched an eyebrow at him and released another hiccup.

"C'mere," he said.

With a face full of skepticism, Usagi rolled off the pillows, closing the distance between them and climbing onto the couch. When he patted his lap again, she rolled her eyes with a fresh hiccup before straddling his thighs.

Her warm weight settled into his lap, pressing him a little deeper into the couch cushions. Instinctively, he slipped a hand up under his too-big-for-her sweatshirt and pressed his palm to the small of her back, feeling her silky-smooth skin. He leaned in close, letting his warm breath tease the lobe of her ear; the soft curls around her temples fluttered with his exhale. Her shiver trembled through them both, and he scraped his short nails along her arms before pressing his mouth to her throat.

Her skin jumped against his lips as she hiccuped again, and once he recovered from the initial jolt, he chuckled into the curve of her neck.

"Sorrrrrrry," she whined, but when his teeth nipped her earlobe the sound transformed into a breathy keen.

"Your condition appears to be... quite serious," he whispered in her ear, teasingly, between kisses. His fingers danced up her leg as her breath stuttered in her chest. "It's a good thing you came to see me when you did."

Her next hiccup mingled with a low groan deep in her throat, her breasts jumping against Mamoru's chest.

His thumb massaged small circles into her inner thigh, his pants growing tight as she squirmed in his lap.

"Will I -HIC- live?" she asked, nails digging sharply into his back.

"It's touch and go," he informed her, heat blooming low in his belly as his fingers curled around the hem of her little pink skirt. "I think you may need some hands-on care."

"Mmm," she shifted against him, trying to force his hand up her thigh - but he resolutely kept his fingers just above her knee.

"You know, Mrs. Tsukino," He used his most professional tone as he traced treasure maps on her skin, "Ethically, I can't administer treatment without my patient's permission…"

She shook her head violently, pigtails windmilling around them as her thighs flexed against his. "Please, Mamo-chan, _touch me._ "

Mamoru didn't need to be told twice; with a sly smirk, his hand slid up her skirt, fingers slipping under the elastic of her panties to find her warm, wet, and willing.

He licked his lips as his palm cupped her golden curls. His fingers danced along her folds in time with her low moans and intermittent hiccups. He pulled back slightly so he could watch her reactions, see her face twist with pleasure at his every move. With a little hum of satisfaction, he brushed his thumb against her inner lips before moving up to tease her clit.

She gasped at his touch, wrapping her arms tight around his shoulders and pressing their cheeks together. Her hips rolled into his, and his fingers faltered momentarily as a wave of pleasure shuddered through him.

Her next hiccup jerked him from his momentary reverie, reminded him of his purpose.

Tamping down on the fire running amok through his veins, he trained his eyes on her flushed face and slipped his index finger inside her.

A tremor quaked through her core as he found the sensitive place inside her, gently kneading her clitoris through her vaginal wall. When she groaned in bliss, he added his middle finger, thumb reaching up to caress her little button, too.

Her breaths were heavy pants in his ear, her fingers flexing against the muscles of his back in time with the flutters of her inner walls. Every practiced touch increased her frenzy, pushed her closer to the edge.

One final stroke - with both his fingers and thumb - and Usagi went rigid, throwing her head back in a silent scream. But he continued his caresses until he felt her insides go still around him, her forehead falling against his shoulder as her limbs went limp.

In the sudden still of their apartment, the only movement was her heart pounding through her chest and into his - gradually slowing to a normal tempo as she came down from her high. His fingers were still buried inside her, now motionless, and he resisted the momentary impulse to press his thumb to her clit once more and see if he could make her scream.

Instead, careful not to disturb her afterglow, he gently pulled his fingers out of her, drying them on the fabric of her panties. Then he closed his eyes, pressed his temple to hers with a deep swell of affection as his mouth stretched into a satisfied grin.

Smoothing his free hand along her back, Mamoru began peppering his spent wife's face with kisses - her cheekbone, the corner of her mouth, her temple.

After a few moments of passive cuddling, Usagi turned her head, catching Mamoru's lips with her own in a long, languid kiss.

"Mmmmm, that was an… interesting treatment, Dr. Tsukino," she said when they broke apart, eyes fluttering open with a lazy smirk. She tilted her head slightly as her fingers played idly with the fine hairs that curled at the base of his neck. "Not that I'm complaining…"

"Evidence suggests that orgasm can be an effective method to stimulate the vagus nerve and eliminate intractable hiccups," he explained, sliding the sweatshirt down her shoulder and gently kissing her newly exposed collarbone.

"Sure," she agreed good-naturedly, in the tone she always used when she wasn't following what he'd said because he'd switched to 'Doctor-y Mumbo-Jumbo.'

Rather than try to explain it to her, he arched an eyebrow and tapped his fingers along her ribs so she once again squirmed in his lap. "When was your last hiccup, Usako?"

She opened her mouth to argue, but then froze as she tried to count back. "Wait, that _worked?!_ "

He laughed, pressing a soft kiss to the skin of her shoulder. "Now aren't you glad I spend so much time reading medical journals?"

Usagi shook her head in baffled wonderment, twisting in his lap to pick up the journal he'd been leafing through earlier. "If _that's_ the kind of stuff you're always reading about… 'Bacterial pneumonia among elderly…' NOPE."

She tossed the book back down on the table and climbed out of his lap, Mamoru tilting his head to better follow the indolent swish of her hips. "I'm gonna go get my new manga."

He chuckled, picking up his reading glasses and adjusting his pants; Usagi straightened her skirt before sashaying down the hall to their bedroom.

"Oh, and Mamo-chan?" He looked up again to find his wife leaning around the wall, one golden streamer trailing along the floor and blue eyes sparkling with mischief. "Call me if _you_ ever get the hiccups, okay?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed (especially you, Flora!!)!! As always, I’d love to hear what you thought. I also encourage you to go share some love with some of the awesome betas in our fandom (or other fandoms!), either by dropping a note in their ask box on Tumblr (if they accept anon asks, you don’t even need an account!) or leaving some kind words on their fics if they happen to write in addition to supporting other authors. 
> 
> Much love!!


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